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Friday, May 20, 2005

Ja-Me's Answers Part 1

G Perspective:

Why do I hate being married so much:
of course it did not start out that way. However, after 6yrs of holding our household down with little to no help 90% of the time has made me just a little bitter,exhausted,resentful, hurt, disappointed, shut down, and at the edge of no return. Especially since it is something that can be fixed but isn't due to one's own selfishness. We did not know much about marriage going into it (who does?) and we have both grown, unfortunately the growth has not been 2gether as one. It has been individually. So my marriage has been stuck in the same place since day 1. Pretty sad :-(

Why did I get married in the first place:
let's see, where to start on this one? I thought I was in love. And I only say that because I do not believe that I had enough of life's experiences to really know better. And that in no way means that I do not love my husband. I was in my earlyyyyy 20's and pregnant with my oldest. We had both agreed that we wanted to be able to give our children something we never had growing up which was a strong foundation with both parents in the household. I did not want to be yet another statistic. And church folks, need I say more on that one?

How did we all come to know each other:
Well it would be pointless for me to reiterate.

Are any two of us closer with each other:
hmmmm, I would not say that any of us are closer than the other. I would say that we look to each other for different things, and collectively it is the glue that holds us all 2gether **sentimental siggghhhh**. As far as jealousy goes, I think we left that behind with the high school years.

Do any of us have separate groups of friends and if so do they get along with our group:
Yes, we all have separate groups of friends. We can figure out who fits and who doesn't. It's rare that an outsider comes in who does not belong. If my memory serves me correctly, it has only happened once thanks to BEG. She introduced us 2 some girl with the ghettoist name that starts with an "M" that Chops and I can not pronounce to this day. And believe me, she was as bad as her dayum name.

Brutha Code:

What was my first kiss like:
oooooohhhh weeeeee......It was all I had day dreamed it to be and a bag of flaming hot cheetos...yummy. Had me re-living it for days. I guess that would be according to the standards of any 13 year old. Not sure if I would say the same now. I may have had one those "experimental" kisses when I was around six, but I can't pull up the memory right now. Must not've been that good **shrug**

Favorite song that came out before 1980:
My favorite song in the whole wide world would have to be Minnie Riperton-Memory Lane! I also love Patrice Rushen- Forget Me Nots & Remind Me, and any of the EW&F and Al Green classics.

Last and next place I traveled/plan to travel to:
Sadly enough I have not seen the world outside of where I live or what I see on tv. I've been local (LA, Tahoe, Monterey, etc..) but that's about it. Not b/c I did not/do not want to. Hopefully the trip to Puerto Rico will come thru for BEG & Chops 30th bash. I am looking soooo forward to that!!! JUST SAD!


What turns me off the most in a man:
Lack of confidence, neediness, a lack of compromise and understanding, arrogance & cockiness. A LACK OF SOOOMMMEEE FINANCIAL STABILITY(A job with benefits)! And I have to go with BEG on the hair thing. I don't like hairy men at all. Or short men (no shorter than me).

What character trait is most important when choosing a friend:
Honesty & Loyalty till the very end!

What is my favorite dessert:
Strawberry cheesecake, pecan pie, german chocolate cake, & sherbert ice cream


How Come we haven't met:
It's all BEG's fault. Everything is her fault, I was actually at the job a few weeks ago but you weren't there :-(. We'll have to hook up soon.

What is my biggest regret so far:
hmmmm? I don't really like the word "regret". There is so much that I have/continue to learn from in life. If I had to choose something that I would have done differently, I would have waited on marriage.

Where do I see myself in 5 years:
I can't really say. I just hope that I am closer to God and finally doing something for me.

What is my favorite restaurant:
Thanh Long, Red Lobster, and anywhere else that has delicious food!


coley said...

Hi Ja-me... YES it is always BEG's fault! LOL

TheSaga said...

heeeey, i feel you, cheesecake is the bomb. mmmmm, cheeeesecake.

i'm right there with you on the marriage thing and growing in two different directions. i've been there... kinda. i thought we were growing in the same direction but she didn't. that's probably one of the biggest risks in marriage: you don't know which direction you'll grow with the other person. One can only hope and pray that life and your dreams take you to the same place as your spouse. You can't help much who you change into over the years and you surely can't lead the other person into who they are going to change into. I think that's the biggest hangup I have with marriage, the uncertainty about our individual futures and if it'll lead us in the same direction. if it doesn't lead u in the same direction, then u might be in for an unhappy marriage or a divorce. i wish u luck, mami.

Anonymous said...

When you wuz asked awhile back about wuzup with you hatin yur marriage you got all pissed off.



Ja-me said...

I orginally answered this question in the chat box, but I figured I should put it here and it was too late to delete.

@ "anonymous"..boy I was waitin' for this one. When BEG 1st approached Chops and I about the questions blog, I knew the very first question for me would be directed towards my marriage and I had prepared myself for that. I had also prepared myself for this comment. As I have explaind before, the person who left the comment to begin with the 1st time around overstepped some boundaries as far as I was concerned. To 1st insinuate that my marriage ...and I quote "couldn't be THAT bad" automatically put me on the defense. You don't know me except for what u read here which is only the tip of the iceberg. So for any1 to assume that it could not be "THAT bad" compared to maybe their situation comes off as being arrogant or maybe a little judgmental to me. Also to assume that I wanted my husband to leave so that I could party fits right in with being arrogant and being judgmental. To then think after all of that, that I may want to have a private conversation off line with a complete stranger to share my woe's openly was complete ludicrous. I think that alone sums up why I got "pissed off".

Anonymous said...

Damn chat box wouldn't put my stuff up there!

Sounds like you still beefin. Well me and wifey are beefin too, so I say f*** all those happy-go-lucky couples! They can keep all that sappy shyt to themselves! Keep yur head up.


Ja-me said...

@anonymous- my sentiments exactly!!! Good luck!

silentbird said...

Okay....this was not what what I was expecting to find when I came here today! And I wasn't even going to comment, but I have to defend attacks against my character, which I feel this is one. It kinda made me sad to see this, especially since I thought you were over all this. But one person's comment seems to have brought all your true feelings out. And I was truthful when I said I wouldn't comment on your marriage again, which I didn't. So to see my character reduced to being called just sad. Especially since these names were due to my words being misconstrued, and I thought we straightened it out. The ironic thing is that you don't know me either, and to say those things about me based on one comment I wrote on your post is wrong. I think it could have been better handled than this, but I will not reduce myself to calling you names. All I will say is that....I will pray for you and your family especially your marriage!

TRUST ME, this will be my LAST comment on anything you post...unless my character is attacked again.


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