Check Your Seats

I don't know if it's just the area I live in or what the problem is but it seems that the world is being taken over by freaks. Not your average run of the mill freaks mind you. I'm talking about the unusual, fantasize about having sex with stuffed animals freaks. The kind that I seem to have a special gift for attracting. Case in point...I was commuting home from San Francisco on B.A.R.T minding my own business. I was sitting near the separator doors in a completely empty train. As the train pulled into the next station an elderly Chinese man (at least 75 years old) got on the train and sat down in the seats across from me. I was studying and didn't bother to look up at him but I did wonder why he would sit so close to me when all of the other seats were available. (I hate that by the way) Anyway, I continued to study but noticed out of the corner of my eye that he was fidgeting quite a bit. I thought he was just trying to get comfortable but I guess I was wrong. A few minutes into the ride he says to me in broken English "rook aah me" . I figured he couldn't be talking to me ( plus I had no idea what he was saying). He repeated his odd phrase a few more time each time a bit louder. At this point I was irritated that he had interrupted my studying and I finally realized that "rook aah me" meant "look at me" so I looked up and saw way more wrinkled flesh than I ever though possible on a human being. He was in full swing ...Whacking away...beating his meat...chocking the chicken, you get the point. I was completely shocked and sat there in a daze just long enough for him to finish his business and leave a nice little puddle on the seat next to him. The train then pulled into the station and he got off (again). Immediately after this incident a crowd of people pushed onto the train and before I could say anything a women in a really nice suit sat in the puddle. Moral of the story....If you take public transportation check the seats before you sit down. That's all for today.

Posted in: B.E.G's Posts