Friday, September 16, 2005

Not Dead....Just Moving!!!

TAKE THE NEW SONGBIRDS POLL 9/16













We hear ya Grasshoppah!! Please calmly place the shank on the ground and slowly back away from the weapon!!

No, we're not dead, or sick, or in rehab (except for maybe one of the songbirds)!

Beg and I have been moving, and Ja-me has been looking for a place to move...ScorpioK has been taking care of her 30 common law kids. But I think the hiatus is finally over!!
A Quick Stale (old and dated news) Update (note that I'm rush typing so it's gonna be choppy):

Beg has been getting settled in her new condo. The squatters stuff is finally gone and she just bought a kitten which she's named Napoleon Dynamite (she can go into details on how she was told by ScorpioK that the kitten was a girl, but turns out it's either a boy or a hermaphrodite).

Ja-me has been working like a big dawg, finally admitted to her shopping addiction, and is almost ready for the next step...doing something about it!

ScorpioK has taken on what seems to me to be about 30 kids in addition to her one natural born...you're better than me girl!

And me...well, I've moved to a new apartment and I LOVE it! I now live only 5 minutes away from work and about 20 minutes away from Beg.

Other Stale News:

A few weeks ago I went to the circus with Ja-me and her 2 little ones. My, oh my, what a time we had!

We saw all the animals first, and it was so cute the way her kids were so amazed by the elephants! Adorable! Then we went into the arena early to see the acrobats and the pre-show Ring Master do their thing up close and personal.

As soon as we made our way down onto the arena floor I noticed that the pre-show ring master was all up in my grill. For a minute I thought maybe he wanted to induct me into the circus life as one of the circus freaks, but he soon made it clear he was just enamored.

Every time I glanced behind me to where he was commentating he was gawking at me. Next thing I know I started noticing the circus midgets staring at me!! I thought I had outgrown midgets!!!

As I was experiencing the clown show with Ja-me's youngest I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around and this decent looking tall black man was standing there. Our conversation:
  • TBM: "Excuse me beautiful. I think that man with the microphone is trying to get your attention. I thought he was looking at me, but now I see he was actually looking at you."
  • ME: "Oh. I see." (giving a quick glance in the direction of the pre-show ringmaster)
  • TBM: "Is she your sister?" ( motioning at Ja-me)
  • ME: "No, we're friends."
  • TBM: " She's GORGEOUS!!"
  • ME: "I know!"
  • TBM: "I just wanna grab her hair and pull it!!!"
  • ME: (a bit startled and concerned that he may be an escaped mental patient prone to hair pulling and biting strangers) "Ummm. What's your name?" (so that I'd have plenty of details to provide to the authorities)
  • TBM:"Oh! I'm Knott. What's yours?" (his name has been altered)
  • ME: "I;m Chops and that's J" (He introduced himself to Ja-me)
  • TBM: "Where are y'all sitting?" (I pointed it out) "Oh. I'm sitting near you guys I think."

We said our goodbyes and then moved along.

When we had gotten back to our seats I noticed that the pre-show ringmaster kept saying happy birthday to someone with the same name as me, but I paid him no mind. Ja-me finally informed me that every time he wished a "very special happy birthday to Chops" he was staring dead in my face. I looked up and lo and behold he was! I just laughed and pointed in his direction that I "got it". How the hell did he know my name????

Finally the show started and the parade of animals came trotting out with all of the Other performers and here comes pre-show ringmaster trotting down the path on his horse looking like a black Will Rogers! LOL! He just had to stop right in front of our section and do a special side step and wave with a big ol' cheese! LOL! I was just laughing my arse off!

Once the show was underway the new ringmaster appeared and it took about a good 15 minutes for me to realize that the new ringmaster was actually Knotts!! Apparently they were tag teaming us. I guess it's what they do... in every new city seek out cuties in the audience and hope that they're ringmaster groupies.

At intermission I dragged Ja-me and the kids out to the concession stand to avoid a chance encounter with the pre-show ringmaster. At the condiments table I noticed once again that everyone was staring in my direction. I turned around and yup, pre-show ringmaster was standing there behind me in all of his glittery ringmaster glory.

I was immediately mesmerized by the beautiful greyish-red hue of his caked on makeup (it's so sexy when you feel like you could cut it with a knife), not to mention the way the long chunky strands of his S-curl laid waxed to the side of his head. I tried to keep my composure, but I admit it, I squirreled a little.

He told me that he'd been trying for so long to get my attention but that I wasnt paying him any mind. Then he asked if the kids were mine, I said no. Then he told Ja-me that Knotts sends her a big fat sloppy wet kiss on the back of her neck!!! Ja-me kind of laughed it off, but I could tell she was disgusted!!

He then asked my age and if I was single. I didnt want to lie so I answered honestly. The problem with this is that it makes it very difficult NOT to hurt peoples feelings one way or another. Anyway, then he asked if I had a number, and I said yes. He waited a beat or two then asked if he could have the number. I said, "Umm. I guess so."

I know you're wondering why I gave my number even though I was obviously not interested. This is the deal. I was interested in finding out how he ended up in the circus and I was also trying this new "thing" where you go out with ALMOST anyone at least once. I began to rethink this new "thing" as soon as the digits were in his hands.

He asked if I was busy after the show at about 945pm. I told him I didnt know. He said he'd call. And he did, at 1140 pm (notorious booty call hours). Of course I didnt answer the call. That's soooo disrespectful! He called again at 12am, then again at 1245am.

The next morning he called at 10am, then again at 12pm, then again at 4pm. After the 4pm call I think a few of the midgets gathered together, tackled him, and wrestled the phone out of his hands, cause he hasnt called since.

New dating lesson>>>
It's best to inform the person that you arent "available" if you arent interested. That way you arent lying - you really arent available...to him. Plus, if you blatantly say that you arent attached but you dont want to give them your number you'll have to deal with the follow up inquisition and run the risk of being called a b*tch.

Yup. Next time I wont even give the number cause now I'm stuck screening phone calls for the next month and feeling horrible that his ego may be bruised. After all, he's a ringmaster! A woman would be crazy to pass on that!!

In a rush so more lata.

Always in love unless you're a man with an extra long S-curl that you have the tendency to flip around like a horse thereby spraying innocent bystanders in the eye with your curl activator.

P.S. The pre-show ringmaster did seem cool from our 2 second conversation, but honestly the worst turn off was that he and his friend were so cool with talking dirty-ish to Ja-me right in front of her kids. That's a no-no. Common sense must be lacking.

Lambchop (Chops)~

Pics I love:














Please peep the guy in the background who posed with us for this picture and came up afterwards to see how he looked!!! Can anyone find Waldo?














Us at the Raheem Devon concert in SJ, CA






























11 comments:

princessdominique said...

Whatever you were doing, we're glad to have you ladies back. The concerts looks like tons of fun!

www.princessdominique.com/blog

AMES said...

Yes thanks for making a visit to see about your fans. Great post, you seem to meet the most interesting characters. It's always funny.

Maddie said...

I feel your pain on the call screening, I learned that lesson the hard way...my well meaning aunt set me up with one of her co-workers. He called me everyday for two weeks, sometimes upwards of TWENTY times in one day. It was TERRIBLE! Always better to weasel, lie, cry "unavailable" or whatever you have to do!

Glad you guys are back!

brooklyn babe said...

Beautiful pics... I gotta come hang with cha'll....(and stop playing I'm serious, I love to travel).

enjoy your weekend ladies!

ManNMotion said...

Circus Groupie!!!

Someone is lookin kinda nice in those pics, but I'm not sayin who

Anyone who doesn't understand a persistent no thank you, give them the ringmaster's number.

Shawn said...

Finally!

Please don't stay away so long.

Lambchop, you seem to have a flower in your hair in most these pics. What the story?

slb said...

the absolute *craziest* things happen to y'all. lol

p.s. i voted "absolutely not, cut it off!" in the new poll. (the thing is: one of the parties involved is still interested romantically. this is always the case. like, 99.8% of the time.)

Ka said...

Lambchop,lambchop,lambchop.... girl what's with all the weirdos?You have the funniest encounters.
Lovely pictures,you all look great!.

Chops said...

@ Princessdominique: Hey all star author! The concert was great! We had a lot of fun.

I actually had a guy with the old "Treach" from Naughty By Nature hair do (pre-modeling)come up to me and lean ALL UP IN MY FACE to ask me how I got my hair curly. I said, "I washed it, fool." Naw, I didnt say fool.

Then he gets all up in my face again and says that he's gonna do his hair like that too, and that he'd be super fly. I guess that should've turned me on...that and his red blood-shot eyes.

I was bummed cause I was actually peepin somebody and he totally salted me out!!

@ Proactiff (aka Soy Bean)- You will always have a home in the meat fridge with the Songbirds!

@ C2A - What's up! We gotta hang again soon!

@ Melliferous Pants: I've learned my lesson big time!!

@ Rostami: Thanks! And yes. Beg does have a very nice waist. She's H.O.T. HOT!

@ Edwige: Yeah I know. The only problem is that it seems some people dont know how to accept that line and keep moving. They want to poke and prod and find an "in" by any means necessary! Then you end up having to hurt their feelings!

@ Brooklyn Babe: Welcome! Come on down and we can all do a Cali Bloggers Ball! LOL! Seriously, if you're ever in town holla and we'll be there!

@ Ms. Maybelline: Beg DOES look awesome, doesnt she! Her locs are growing sooooo fast!

@ Mannmotion: I think I know who you're talking about and I agree again, she's FABULOUS! *snap *snap and a loc..I mean twist. LOL!

@ Giveme: Awww! We thank you!

@ Shawn: The flower is just an ornament. I love them! Plus, I have 2-textured hair. When it's curly, one side is super curly and the other side is more wavy, so it helps to balance that out. But I do really love clips! Glad to have you back in business in blog-land!!!

@ Will (aka Blog-Master): Thanks! And you've got me cracking up over here!

@ Grasshoppah: Never say never, unless you say that you'd never share hard candy with your co-worker! LOL! I have no clue what's up with me and Circus midgets, ringmasters and the like. If the next one is a clown I'm throwing in the towel and moving to Tibet.

@ SLB: I think you may be right. I had a friend say that it was possible that both parties could mutually be over the relationship, but I dont know if that's really true. I mean, if the person's cool enough to stay good friends with, one of you are gonna start to feel like they're the perfect combo again, right? Hmmmm.

@ Kashata: Girl I.Dont.Know!! I tell you what- I think my ex Mr. Circus Midget left me a marked woman! I cant think of any other reason, other than once you've been with a freak, other freaks think you're fair game!!!

Thanks all for your comments!
Chops~

Liza Valentino said...

u all are so cute.

TheSaga said...

LOL, i missed reading ur posts, chica.

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