Welcome Home?

THE GOOD NEWS: Praise God!!!! I am finally a home (condo) owner!!!! Thanks for all of your nice thoughts and prayers.

THE BAD NEWS: In some strange way he was right...I either have a roommate or a squatter, you decide.

ARE YOU CURIOUS ABOUT THE PICTURES? First I have a question for you... Do you think that a man who cuts up his boxers with a pocket knife, then leaves them in the middle of the living room floor should be allowed to roam the streets freely or should someone give him a nice white jacket (with very long sleeves), a mask, and a padded room?

SHORT EXPLANATION: The above pictures are what I was greeted with as I walked into my new residence for the first time. The top picture is the filthy couch I talked about in the prior post, the one on the left is a picture of a tire and a vacuum left in one of the hallway closets, and the one on the right is a pair of the previous owner's boxers that I think he either left as a threat or a gift...I'm not really sure.

LONG EXPLANATION: By the grace of God I was able to get all of the missing paperwork in by the deadline and close escrow on time. I arrived fifteen minutes early for my walk through (which is a miracle in itself according to most of my friends). As I walked towards the door I got the feeling that things were not going to go as smoothly as my realtor originally led me to believe. The first thing I noticed was that the blinds were closed (in the middle of the day). As we walked through the door I was once again overcome by that terrible odor. As I went into the kitchen I was surprised to see that the previous owner had made a pitiful attempt at cleaning. All of the garbage was picked up off the floor and most of his tattered filthy furniture was gone. My realtor was under the impression that the previous owner was finally gone but....Of course not! He was once again asleep on the nasty couch (see above picture). When his realtor arrived he got up and stated that he was in the process of moving out and that he would be completely out by 9am the next day. He also made sure to point out everything that needed to be repaired (it was an as-is sale) in a somewhat coherent manner. So, the walk through wasn't all that great with him as a shadow but I figured it could have been worse right???

IT GETS WORSE: The next day my realtor calls and says the magic words, "Come get the keys it's yours!" I filled out the last of the mountains of paperwork, got my keys, and excitedly headed to my new home. Problem #1: None of my keys fit any of the door locks. Problem #2: I didn't get a remote to the gate. Problem #3: I didn't get a key to the mailbox (and have no idea where it is). To say that I was upset would be an understatement but instead of freaking out I called a locksmith and went shopping for new flooring. An hour and $300 dollars later the locksmith picked the door lock, replaced several locks and let me in.....or should I say broke in. Welcome home.

IT GETS WORSER (yes, I know that isn't a word) : The first thing I noticed when I walked in was a tire and a vacuum cleaner stacked in the hall closet (see above left picture). Then I walked into the bathroom and found a wet towel on the sink, open deodorant (I'm not sure why it was open because it's evident that he never used it) and a plugged in electric razor. I looked in all of the cabinets and closets and found out that the garbage I thought he had disposed of was simply hidden in new spots. He had actually moved more of his belongings in since my walk through instead of moving things out. Idiot! I also started getting nervous because I thought he was possibly hiding somewhere in the area. As I walked into the living room I saw that his couch (see middle picture) was still there but he was nowhere to be found. I. WAS. FURIOUS. I called my realtor and lost it.

IT GETS WORSER-ER:I won't bore you with all the details but I will say that I have one huge mess on my hands. According to my realtor the previous owners realtor can't seem to find him. He took his money and ran. She has been able to contact one of his brother who says he will pay for the costs of disposing of the crap that was left behind but he refuses to put it in writing. I wanted to dump it all but according to the local police I have to store that jackasses belongings for a minimum of 30 days and make reasonable allowances for him to pick it up if he so chooses. I planned on painting, pulling out the carpet, and remodeling the bathroom before moving in but that is going to be hard with all of his crap laying around. I'm also nervous that he will show up again once I actually move in. I feel like my whole life is up in the air right now so I guess only time will tell how this all works out......Off to the gun store.


YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT?????- Today my mom called to tell me that she and my uncle were going to bag up all of the crap that the freak left behind and put it on my deck until I figure out what I'm going to do. She said that when she arrived a fire fighter advised her that half of the building burned down last night but the fire stopped right before it reached my unit. I wonder if Mr.Cranker set the fire. I also found out that I have a storage unit that I was never advised about. Apparently it was padlocked and he has possibly been living in it. Somebody pinch me please......

Posted in: B.E.G's Posts