"Tasteless"

So, I come into work today (four hours early) and what do I find out? Well, apparently our wonderful IT department (that is incapable of handling even the simplest computer problem) has decided to block all access to my blog because they have deemed it "Tasteless". Never mind the fact that our email system only works 3 days a week, and that several other people I work with have blogs that haven't been censored. Oh, and we can't forget that I still have access to dating sites, online shopping, and several sites that talk about sexual activites I can't even begin to imagine. It seems that the only thing they are good at is sending out emails informing us of what isn't working (which is usually the entire system). Perhaps I should look at this as an opportunity to talk all the shit I want without being monitered. I mean, since this is so tasteless I'm sure the person who decided to block it won't be reading it either, right!? Well after this post I probably won't have internet access at all. Just more bullshit to add to the pile I suppose.

On a lighter note this is hysterical.

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Kindly Remove Your Hand From Around My Throat

How is it that people can make it through their entire lives without having to grow out of that overly sensitive-needy phase? I have a few friends that are so needy that I NEED to take a break from them from time to time.

One of my friends is worse than all the others. He is totally clingy and sensitive about everything. Once I received a voice mail message from him but couldn’t call him back for a few days. He was sooo upset! In a nutshell he told me that I should check my messages regularly and that I'm rude and insensitive for not returning his call promptly and that I’d better improve on this shortcoming in the future. He didn’t care to ask if I was okay or if I had something big going on in my life that would prevent me from calling him. No. It was all about HIM, HIM, HIM, HIM, HIM - his feelings, his hurt, his loneliness, his needs. So my response was, "Aren’t you married? Don’t you have a spouse? Don’t you have someone who, by law, has to be there for you when you're lonely, bored or horney? So why are you calling me???"

Okay, so I didn’t say the last part, but I should have. That kind of neediness makes my pits itch and my skin crawl. I can’t stand it when people put that kind of pressure on me. It's annoying and unrealistic. They aren’t calling because they really want to take the time to find out how I am. Usually they're only calling because they're bored and just want to find someone to fill the ever present void in their lives.

This is why they get so pissed when you don’t give them the time they think they so rightfully deserve; or why they cant seem to get over you having to cancel a planned get-together (regardless of the reason). I find it funny that these same people expect you to be okie-dokie when they tend to disappear for extended periods of time once they find something or someone else to occupy their precious time.

A few of my friends have actually told me that they don’t think I "have anything better to do" because of my marital status. Now, I may not be married, I may not have rugrats (I mean this in the best possible way as I really do love rugrats), and I may not be involved at the moment but that doesn’t mean I just sit in a corner of my house twiddling my toes and trying to figure out if I can really make my bum grow 2 sizes in 10 days like the ad says (does anyone know if this is possible?).

Surprise-surprise! I have a life just like all the married with children people out there. There's work, God, work, school, work, homework, work, bands, work, guitar lessons, work, guitar practice, work, food, work, sleep, work, work, work. As you can see my life is as full as anyone else’s. So if I don’t return your call IMMEDIATELY don’t take it personal and don’t lash out at me. It doesn’t matter if you don’t think my activities are as important or significant as yours! They’re significant to ME!

Gone are the days of Jr. High where you would disown your best friend if she missed one of your long drawn out monologues on how much you lu-u-uv (love) your boyfriend. We're adults now with adult responsibilities and higher priorities. Get with the program fool.

These retards are still my friends, but they take so much work, time and energy that I tend to shy away from them causing them to get even more pissed at me. With all the normal stresses I have in my life I don’t think that stress to maintain a "friendship" should be one of them. All the pressure involved in some of my many friendships makes me want to crawl into a hole and become a hermit.

So BEG & Ja-me, if I don’t return your call or don’t answer my phone for a period of time it's because I'm recuperating from one of my draining friends who don’t “put in” but constantly “pull out” (BEG - get your mind out of the gutter, please).

Always in love…unless you drain me dry.
Lambchop~

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Observations

Okay-
This is a post I created back on January 9th, 2005. I had to remove it due to circumstances I’m unable to disclose at this time. I'm reposting because I feel the need to restate my feelings on grubby food tasters (see my 'Final thoughts on food' at the very end of the post).

Many may not agree with me (like B.E.G), but the large number of folks who do agree please let your voices ring to very roof tops of this slobber sharing society! REVOLUTION IS ON THE HORIZON MY FRIENDS!!! A NEW DAY IS DAWNING!! KEEP YOUR FILTHY FORKS OFF MY PLATE....VIVA LA REVOLUTION!!!

Always in love...unless you eat off my plate (this is a very important reiteration).
Lambchop
____________________________________________________

January 9th 2005
First let me say that I am ever so thrilled to be off of work for 7 full days!! Don't hate :-)

So I finally finished my painful packing experience at 11am this morning. Surprisingly enough I got all of my clothes into my one big bag. Of course I needed an extra bag for my hair products and accessories, but that's a given.

I called the airline to determine if I could get my Martin Backpacker Guitar onto the plane with no trouble and I got some bad news. Unfortunately my guitar is about 28inches and the overhead compartment is 24inches, so I was S.O.L. Being me, I decided to take my chances with the guitar and said an extra prayer before checking in.

God is just so good because I was able to sneak the guitar on and luckily the case is black so the stewardess didn't realize it was sticking out from under my seat.

Speaking of stewardesses, what the hell is up with the bitchy help? I am mostly, almost always kind to people and I very nicely asked that she clean my soda can (it was covered with dirt). She looked at me like I should be glad I got a soda in the first place...better yet, I better be glad they let my black a$$ on the plane and in the front no less!! In the end of course she said that she'd be back, but she never came back!

Instead of causing a scene and getting removed from the plane at 20k+ feet I decided to get ghetto with it and use the water in my water bottle and a napkin I happened to have. It worked but I was really annoyed.

Tonight I went out with my girl D and we had a lot of fun. She took me out to karaoke! It was my second time ever (B.E.G. took me and Ja-me and Kris to a gay piano bar not too long ago).

The karaoke bar was a very interesting place with very mystical creatures. I feel like an explorer off visiting foreign lands, observing the native peoples and learning of their ways. These "natives" were very pleasant. My initial impression was that they were not unlike you and me, however as the night progressed and the booze line got longer I became aware that this is simply not the case.

I think the highlight of the night was when a group of guys got together and dropped their pants. I thought it was funny at first. I laughed along with everyone else, until I realized they had no intention of putting their pants back on at all. Then I became terrified as they inched their way closer and closer to our table. Luckily they were mesmerized by some shiny object (light reflecting off of a fresh bottle of beer) and immediately changed their course.

Overall it was a cool night. I didn't sing, but I think we should go karaoke soon (NOTE TO BEG). Preferably to a place where people keep their clothes on all night. I know I'm asking for a lot, but I'm asking anyway.

I'm really not sure what I'm doing tomorrow, or for the rest of my vacation week, but I hope it involves a whole lot of sleeping. That's the problem with staying at other peoples houses while on vacation. You cant sleep as long as you want, you cant lounge all day, you cant walk around in the raw if you want. It really sucks. But the upside is that you're saving a whole hell of a lot of money!

Final thoughts on food:
I love my friends, and would do almost anything for them, but I do not love:
a) sharing my food (I truly enjoy eating a lot, and I suspect that I have a tape worm so I really do need the extra food.)
b) If I decide to share inspite of what the tape worm is telling me to do, PLEASE let me get you your own fork and allow me to put the food onto another plate for you. I HATE when people eat off my plate. If I dont have an extra fork or plate available you might as well not ask for some.
c) I hate when people ask for a "taste" or a "bite". You know damn well that after you get your little "taste" you're gonna want more. Why even torture yourself like that cause I have no problem watching you watch me eat. Just do without this time around, then next time when I offer to buy an extra one for you, you'll take my offer.

Well that's it for now.

B.E.G.:
"Do the chickens have large talons?"

Je-me:
"This is Rebecca Bloomwood of successful Savings"

Always in love
Lambchop~

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The Spawn of Satan Revealed!!

Now this might sound strange to some of you, but if you really think about it you'll see that it's true....Television is the Spawn of Satan!!

I really am beginning to loathe it. I've even tried not watching it for a week. I lasted one day - strike that, I made it a whole 5 hours. I sat in my room reading a book, and every now and again I could feel it calling out to me to turn it on. Clear as day it was talking to me, "Turn me on! Think of what you're missing! It's not hurting anybody. Do it. Do it. Do it..." I tried to ignore it and focus on actually using my brain, but soon I couldn't help but to crumble. I really wanted to see what happened on the newest episode of Scrubs. I love that show....

I'm sooooo weak. This is why I have yet to watch the newest and most acclaimed shows on today (i.e. desperate housewives etc). If I watch I wont be able to stop cause I'll reason that I've already invested my time in getting to know the characters.

I probably could have mastered the guitar by now if I didn't watch so much TV. I usually try to watch TV and practice at the same time which of course doesn't really work since you cant hear the TV when practicing. So I tried to read the TV subtitles while practicing and that didn't work either. As Winnie the Pooh would say, "Oh bother".

I know the TV is just lovin the fact that I don't go to sleep until after midnight each night because I get caught up watching Becker (you should check it out, it's hysterical!). I can hear it laughing at me as I attempt (emphasis on 'attempt') to get up early so that I can get in some quiet (prayer) time, and get to work by 7am. I dont even know why I try cause it's obviously just a pipe dream. Currently I get up at about 8am and do some half-ass'd prayer in my sleep wake state, and make it to work just before 930am if I'm lucky. Of course it's down hill from there.

One of the voices in my head keeps telling me that I've really got to do something about this TV addiction. I've contemplated removing it from my room but I'm thinking this is too rash a move. I mean, where would it go? I have a TV in every single room, including the garage! Sick. I know.

I covered it last week with a towel and that seemed to work for a while until I saw that a corner of the TV was exposed at which point I promptly got up to cover it - which caused me to touch it - which led me to turn it on - and there you go. I'm an addict, what can I say? Knowing is 1/4th the battle.... DONT JUDGE!!!

Tonight I'm going to try again. Maybe I can make it all night. I don't want to give up TV altogether. I just don't want it to have such power over me. If I really tried to analyze it, I guess I'm really bored and unfulfilled in a lot of ways. When the TV's on I guess I can forget that I'm not where I really want to be in my life. Thank God I don't want to analyze it.

A special quote from the Chronicles of Winnie the Pooh:
"I don't see much sense in that," said Rabbit. "No," said Pooh humbly, "there isn't. But there was going to be when I began it. It's just that something happened to it along the way."

Always in love...unless you're a television.
Lambchop

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Strange Love Indeed!

Okay, I have to comment on "Mr. F" aka "Fuffy-Fuffy" bka "Flavor Flav" and "Gitte" aka "Brigitte Nielsen" in the series "Strange Love" on VH1.

I'm appalled! It's insane! The first time I saw the show was by accident. I was channel surfing and happened to pause at the sight of Mr. F snuggling up to Gitte. What a sight! The best way for me to describe it is to liken it to how a malnutritioned, gold toothed, miniature beaver would look straddling an oversized naked panda bear. As I took a minute to process what I was seeing (a show that glorifies lunacy) I couldnt help thinking to myself, "Only a complete moron would watch this crap".

After I'd finished watching every single rerun in the episode recap I came to a very startling realization...I'm an absolute moron.

Bieng the product of a biracial family I have no qualms at all about the interracial aspect, it's the fact that two obviously clinically insane individuals are allowed to roam freely in society that blows me away.

Have you seen the show??? I just cant even believe Sly Stallone was married to Gitte!! I would love to have been a fly on the wall of dear ol' Sly's room when he watched Gitte and Flava hooking up on The Surreal Life. Hilarious!

I hate that I'm hooked on "Strange Love" cause Flava seriously embarrasses me and Gitte seriously frightens me. Still, I thank God for the crazies. May they continue to keep my most monotonous days somewhat interesting.

Always in Love...unless you'd attempt to eat off of my plate.
Lambchop

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My Turn On The Soap Box

It's seems that everywhere I turn people are talking about abortion and abortion rights. I’m not sure where I currently stand on these issues but thanks to the recent barrage of media coverage I’ve been considering it lately. I live in a very liberal area of California so an overwhelming majority of what I hear is from a Pro-choice perspective. I actually think that pro-choice is a very fitting title for their set of beliefs. I think that Pro-choicer's (if you will) believe in a women’s choice to murder a baby. No matter how you look at it a normal healthy pregnancy ends in the birth of a child. If a women chooses to end the life of her child (which I believe begins at conception) prior to birth it is murder. Period. It's funny how people seem to ignore or sidestep that fact by focusing on a specific date that an embryo is considered “a viable life” in their opinions.

I believe that God created each of us with the ability to be rational thinkers and gives us free will to exercise this gift. (Okay there are quite a few people I know who are far from rational, our president for example...but that’s another topic all together) I have determined that abortion is not an option that I am personally interested in taking at this point in my life (No, I'm not pregnant...unless the second Immaculate Conception occurred while I was sleeping last night). As adults and unfortunatly teens we all make the occasional bad decision. In our self-absorbed society it seems our primary goal is self-gratification. We have forgotten the value of being responsible for our own actions. Instead of facing our own immorality (myself included) we simply brush mistakes and blunders under the carpet. For some people that means cheating on a spouses, for some it means lying about anything and everything to impress or save face, for others it means killing a child that may not fit into the plans.

Now before you get your panties (or man panties) in a bunch hear me out. I’ve heard all the pre- Roe vs. Wade stories about back alley and coke can abortions. I do realize that for medical reasons some women are unable to carry pregnancies to term without compromising there own lives, and for them abortions can be a necessity. I also realize that some pregnancies stem from terrible circumstances such as rape however I’m still undecided as to weather or not that makes abortion a viable option in my mind. Then we have the women who seem to use abortion as birth control. They completely disgust me. I also feel bad for them because you would have to be deeply disturbed to be comfortable with murdering your own child in lieu of using condoms/birth control or one of the many other options available.

So then there are the Pro-lifer’s (in case you hadn’t noticed already I don’t really consider myself a member of either group). Also an interesting name. They seem to be advocates for the life of the unborn child and the mother but not necessarily in a way that society deems acceptable. It’s no secret that many Pro-lifers use biblical doctrine to substantiate their views. If I was forced to choose between the two groups as a bible believing Christian I would probably choose the pro-life stance however I do see a few problems with this group as well. I am not comfortable with handing over any of my rights to the government. (They don’t really seem to have the best track record) I guess my dilemma is that I believe that abortion is murder and that murder is wrong. I would not hesitate to prosecute a murderer that killed his wife so how could I be comfortable with one type of murderer but not another? I just don’t know.

I guess the only thing I know for sure is that I make decisions for me and no one else (At this point anyway). While I don’t personally condone abortion I respect anyone who chooses to exercise that option. Any way you look at it, it’s a hard choice to make. I still don’t know which side of the coin I’m on so I guess I’ll mull it over a little while longer. I’m tired now so I guess I’ll get off my box and return to my corner. Thanks

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Is that it?.. Cruise/ Time Off Pics

Since people seem to be having a problem distinguishing between who is writing each post this is B.E.G...you can look at the bottom of each post to determine who wrote it.

My much to short vacation is over. My mom, Lambchop, several of her family members, and I went on a cruise to Encinada. The cruise was nice but Encinada was pathetic. In a town where the only attractions are all you can drink tequila and a blow hole called " La Bufadora" I guess I shouldn't have expected much. On a good note I didn't get any kind of strange stomach viruses. Anyway, not much else to say about that.

Lets see what else...... Oh yeah I went to Yoshis (again) this time to see Chris Botti who was absolutely amazing. I also sang at this graduation type thing but besides saying that it went quite well I don't wish to elaborate at this time. I somehow ended up going to a club in SF afterwards that wasn't my kinda place. The music was nice but the crowd was made up of 12 year olds(Okay maybe they were 14). Since I don't do the Romper Room crowd I ended up sitting in the car until my friends were ready to go. On the way to the club I was lucky enough to witness a crack head in all his glory, clothed only in a tan trench coat, cop a squat on a corner and shall we say drain his very small one eyed monster. In his defense it was very cold that evening. Im also back in school (again) and don't want to talk about that either.

Enough Talk.......Here are some random pictures.

Je-Me: You better back up off my man!!!

" They said they were gonna F*** for a buck, do something strange for a piece of change, and I know we're gonna make them holler for a dollar!" -M. Epps

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ahhh......sunset
Posted by Hello

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Random sign.
Posted by Hello

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