Damn, Damn, Damn!

I though Lambchops post about ticket master was a bit extreme but tonight I realized that she was right. Ticket master is the spawn of satan!!!! I had planned to see Goapele at Yoshi's tonight but apparently Ticket Master had other plans for my evening. I arrived at the venue 2 hours early because I wanted to have dinner and a few drinks before the show. Plus, if present your ticket prior to dinning they automatically hold seat for you in the front seating area. Anyway I arrive, give them my credit card and get wonderful news from the host. He condescendingly says "Okay, so how did you get your tickets again? (pause) because we have no record of it." So I think to myself maybe I gave him the wrong credit card...lets try another one. Well needless to say that wasn't the one either. ...

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Almost 100 Things

Okay....I'm jumping on the band wagon and doing the "100 things" thing.1) I really enjoy sleeping.2) I really, REALLY enjoy sleeping.3) I am severely lactose intolerant.4) I still eat ice cream, cheese, and drink milk. (My friends and co-workers aren't to happy about that)5) This is much harder than I thought it would be.6) I play guitar. (but not very well so I'm taking lessons)7) I also sing...Hence the songbirds title.8) I would like to learn to play sitar,piano, and violin. (in that order)9) I am a bible believing Christian.10) I tried to drown Lambchop when we were dorm roommates.11) She lived obviously.12) There are 8 pockets in the pants I'm wearing right now. They are hideously ugly.13) I wear the same pants 4-5 days a week. ( for work)14) No, I don't work in fast food smart...

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My Money Melts!

Hiddie Ho!I promised BEG I'd blog about our girls night out last Thursday, and I will...tomorrow.First I have to vent (yup, more outta me). I'm actually feeling so much better than last week. I'm no longer PMS'n and the world seems brighter with every passing second. Only, I'm a little disappointed. Have you ever started out the day with a full agenda, then something shiny catches your eye and the rest of your day is spent counting pennies, IOU slips, sellable socks, toe rings and anything else you deem remotely valuable in order to attain said shiny object? That's pretty much how my day went today.The PLAN:1. Up at 8am2. Gym by 930am3. Back by 10:30-11am4. House cleaning till 12pm5. Rehearsal at 2pm6. Visit with the folks at 6:30pm7. Meet up with visiting cousin at 8pm8. Home about 10pm...

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The Spawn of Satans Twin Revealed!

I just needed to vent right now. I bought tickets to a concert on ticket Master and requested the BEST SEATS AVAILABLE. The stupid thing showed me tickets and I bought them thinking they were indeed the best. Then on a whim I decided to check again and found even BETTER tickets!!! !&#&$($#))$*%R&%&%)$)#_!!!I am so pissed right now! I called ticket master and they said they couldnt help me - @#%%#*&(^%%%$%#^U&!!! I'm really pissed. All they had to do is switch me to the better seats! A click of a button would have been all it took. Same price, better tickets. The rat bastards.Now that I've vented I'll let it go...#@$()&*_)&)**&*%@#*$#@$)_#)$#%$#%($%(*%&_+(*&O)_%$#@%$*)%$*^%%#@!!!!!Okay, now I'll let it go.Stupid Monkey Phunks.TICKET MASTER IS THE...

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Check Your Seats

I don't know if it's just the area I live in or what the problem is but it seems that the world is being taken over by freaks. Not your average run of the mill freaks mind you. I'm talking about the unusual, fantasize about having sex with stuffed animals freaks. The kind that I seem to have a special gift for attracting. Case in point...I was commuting home from San Francisco on B.A.R.T minding my own business. I was sitting near the separator doors in a completely empty train. As the train pulled into the next station an elderly Chinese man (at least 75 years old) got on the train and sat down in the seats across from me. I was studying and didn't bother to look up at him but I did wonder why he would sit so close to me when all of the other seats were available. (I hate that by the way)...

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Happy Valentines Day

So, I was lucky enough to see the fabulous Jill Scott do her thing at the Paramount last week. She was (of course) wonderful. I being the non-emotional person that I am was almost brought to tears during several of the songs but we won't tell anybody about that will we. It's funny, I haven't been out in Oakland in God knows how long but I swear everyone I saw looked familiar. Yep, all the usual character were there; the bartender girl with the big nose, the dude with the gold grill and finger waves, the chick with the tired broke down weave, I think you get the point. Anyway, I was surprised to find that there wasn't a single naked (or almost naked) female in the entire theater. I guess Ms.Scott must have inspired quite a few bay area folks to cover up for a change.I was late to the concert...

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NADA

I got nothing. Nada. Nothing to say, hence the lack of posts. Since my last few weeks have consisted of work, sleep, school, sleep, work, work, gym, work, school, (I think you get the point) I have nothing interesting to share with the group today. I guess I could discuss this weeks “strange but true” work stories such as the man with the dildo and pantyhose in his fanny pack (which I will discuss at a later date) or the women who says she gets information directly from God regarding criminals that she would be more than happy to share if we would simply supply her with a free cell phone, or perhaps I could just talk about some of the many times I was called a bitch by a disgruntled caller but you know what? I really don't feel like it right now. Chops, although I have thoroughly enjoyed...

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The Empire Strikes Back Against The Worthless Jacka$$ Circus Midget!!

The Empire (me) has struck back against the Worthless Jacka$$ Circus Midget!! (Go HERE to get caught up)Okay, well maybe "struck back" isn’t completely accurate. The point is that new information is now available regarding my quest to regain membership with my gym.I called the gym's corporate offices last week and got confirmation that Mr. Circus Midget indeed cancelled me just as the local gym had stated. I was also informed that "it" inquired about a possible refund on MY membership, but since we had the membership since 2002 we were way past the refund date. Now how sick is that?? Have you ever met anyone as freakin' cheap and miserly as that? I actually have some additional insight into "its" sickness that I'll write about later in this post.So I ask the corporate rep whether she would...

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Happy Belated Groundhogs Day!!!

I forgot to post for Groundhogs day on February 2nd!! BEG & I celebrated but didn't post - shame on us. This is a quote from my all time favorite movie EVER...GROUNDHOGS DAY!!! It stars Bill Murray (genius comedy actor) and Andie MacDowell. If you haven't seen the movie PLEASE DO! It came out in 1993 and is about a cynical weatherman who's forced to continuously re-live the worst day of his life until he learns to become a better person. It's hilarious! Quote background- Phil (Bill Murray) delivers this monologue at Hobblers Knobb during the Groundhogs (Punxsutawney Phil) prediction ceremony. Phil (Bill Murray) has grown tired and depressed of reliving groundhogs day over and over again in Punxsutawney, PA (one of my favorite quotes of the movie): "This is pitiful. A thousand people...

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Attack of the Worthless Jack@$$ Circus Midget

This post is about my jack @$$ circus midget of an ex-boyfriend - I'll call him Mr. Circus Midget as he was quite shorter than me and has the worst case of short mans complex I've ever seen. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME VERY STRONG LANGUAGE WILL BE USED IN THIS POST. VERY NEGATIVE REFERENCES WILL BE MADE AGAINST A VERTICALLY CHALLENGED, CRAPPY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE ON IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE EXTREME EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF A WOMAN SCORNED. I'M NOT USUALLY THIS VULGAR OR CRUEL AND WILL DEFINITELY PRAY FOR PEACE ON THIS SITUATION BEFORE BED, BUT I'M HUMAN AND I HAVE FEELINGS THAT MUST BE PURGED. FOR EVERYONE WHO CAN HANDLE IT...READ ON AND EXPERIENCE MY FRUSTRATION WITH THIS NOTORIOUS BASTARD._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _...

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Love Fest 2005 - Theme Song

Hey BEG & Ja-me - I have a new post dedicated to the Love Fest for 2005. Please read it and if possible put on Peter Cetera's song "Glory of Love" from the Karate Kid soundtrack. I have decided that this should be Love Fest 2005's theme song...with important CAPITALIZED changes that eliminate any insinuation of lesbian lovin'. This is just a theme song. I still very much enjoy the company of men :-) ________________________________________________ "Tonight it's very clear as we're ALL STANDIN' here There's so many things I wanna say I will always love you IN A NON-LESBIAN WAY, I would never leave you alone Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret It breaks my heart to see you cryin' I don't wanna lose you AS A NON-LESBIAN FRIEND, I could never make it alone I am a NON-LESBIAN...

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Response to BEG - Love Fest 2005

I think this is way too long for a comment so I made it a post to you BEG - (Oh! I put new pictures in the flickr photo album on the right - from when we were younger) OMG! BEG I am seriously tearing up over here. I'm not even joking. That was beautiful and I am so glad I had the opportunity to hear (see) it without forcing it out of you :-) Honestly though, you know that you're a big-big part of my life. As hard as I've tried to get away from you (oh how I've tried), I just can’t seem to do it. You're a great friend. Even through our fights and homicide attempts you've always been there for me too. I guess this is a good time to thank you (again) for always writing to me when I was in the army; keeping me up on the latest crew trash; being there for me through every break up (remember...

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Love Fest 2005

Since one of my goals for this year is to open up emotionally I figure this is as good a time as any to start. God has blessed me with many things in my life. My family, health, a job, etc...But one of the gifts I am most thankful for is my friends. Some people spend a lifetime without ever making a real connection with another person. I have been blessed with several close friends but today I will talk about two that I have known for over half my life. (Lambchop and Je-Me) I don't think either of them is aware of what an impact they have made in my life so I'll take this opportunity to tell them. Je-ME: You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. (I know you are tired of hearing that but it's true so get over it.) When I am frustrated with life’s obstacles I think about all of the...

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