Attack of the Worthless Jack@$$ Circus Midget

This post is about my jack @$$ circus midget of an ex-boyfriend - I'll call him Mr. Circus Midget as he was quite shorter than me and has the worst case of short mans complex I've ever seen.
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PLEASE NOTE THAT SOME VERY STRONG LANGUAGE WILL BE USED IN THIS POST. VERY NEGATIVE REFERENCES WILL BE MADE AGAINST A VERTICALLY CHALLENGED, CRAPPY EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN BEING. PLEASE DO NOT CONTINUE ON IF YOU CANT HANDLE THE EXTREME EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS OF A WOMAN SCORNED. I'M NOT USUALLY THIS VULGAR OR CRUEL AND WILL DEFINITELY PRAY FOR PEACE ON THIS SITUATION BEFORE BED, BUT I'M HUMAN AND I HAVE FEELINGS THAT MUST BE PURGED. FOR EVERYONE WHO CAN HANDLE IT...READ ON AND EXPERIENCE MY FRUSTRATION WITH THIS NOTORIOUS BASTARD._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Today after work I was feeling really stressed so I decided to go to the gym. I haven’t gone for awhile but I've been ramping up to go and today was going to be my new start! Well I went into my local branch, and to my surprise that @$$hole Mr. Circus Midget had cancelled my membership!!! What a phucking d%ck!

The branch manager told me that Mr. Circus Midget went into another branch and cancelled my membership so that he didnt have to pay big bucks to get his new ghetto fabulous surly wife (that's a hoe 'nother story) a gym membership.

Of all the foul, crappy, underhanded, sneaky, evil, weasel-like sh*t-headed things to do! I am so freaking angry I could crap rubber duckies and razor blades. After all the sh*t I did for that selfish-stingy-cheap-monkey phuck-infinitesimal piece of crap! I had to endure him treating me like crap, stalking me for almost a year (almost daily 1, 2 and 3am calls to all my phones 1 & 1/2 years after we broke up), cussing me out when I finally called him to tell him to please stop calling me and waking me up every weekday morning, etc.

I actually wouldn’t trip off of his actions if he had bought the membership for me and I was just living off of his dime for these last 3 years, but that isn’t the case. We signed up for our membership as a couple. He wanted to pay with his credit card and asked that I pay him with a check for the full price of my membership ($650.00). So he didn’t do anything financially for me (as was the case throughout our relationship). So the fact that he would have the phucking audacity to cancel my membership without even telling me and add his dead-beat wife in my place is just driving me to shake. So pretty much I'm paying for his wife to go to the gym! I didn’t marry that heifer! What a bastard.

When we were together I paid for EVERYTHING. Anything we did I paid for myself and most times paid for him too because I was soooo in lu-u-uv (stupidity at it's best). I just enjoy doing things for the people I love with the thought that they'd do it for me too if they could (sucker).

Even though I was struggling I tried to help him out financially because he had a daughter and a house and he always complained about how much money he was shelling out on his responsibilities - "Babe, can you just pay for "this" or "that" cause you love me?"

He makes waaaaay more money than me...I'm talking like at least $50,000 more than me a year and I don’t own property, I'm hella broke and I'm trying to figure out which one of my lovely friends houses I can "borrow" some food from (Ja-me...whatcha cooking tonight gurl?).

Unfortunately, because he was "Primary" on the gym membership account he had the right to do what he did, but thank GOD for checks! I found my carbon copy of the check I wrote him and now I can order the endorsed check be faxed to me in the morning. That'll get his warped a$$!

Ja-me was the first person I told when I found out. She sweetly offered to ride up to his house with me (with her kids in the back seat) and kick his midget a...well, I wont go into any details.
Another friend offered to fill up balloons with eggs and egg his house, car etc. Yet anther friend suggested we fill up balloons with cat crap and throw them at his house. My cousin offered to go to his house and break every other bone in his body. But the best yet was my girl BEG. She offered to find a way to have all his utilities cut off and I think she may have said something about burning his house down...or maybe that's just what I wanted to hear.

If I was a different person I would totally have done at least one of the suggested retaliations on that midget jerk, but I'm not. Instead I'll just send him a certified letter and request he either reimburse my $650.00 or put me back on the account and let the gym's corporate headquarters separate our account (which is what he should've done in the first place). I'll give him 30 days then I'm going to take him to court. I'm sure that'll surprise the hell out of him since he thinks that I'm too nice to do anything about it.

I've been praying for him and will continue to. I don’t wish any ill will for him even though I'm still very very very upset about how messed up he is. I really just want what's rightfully mine...my freaking gym membership.

They need to dedicate the drink "Slow Screw Against The Wall" to me, cause I really feel like he's been slowly screwing me over for the last 5 years.

I feel a little better now, but like a sufferer of tourettes syndrome I might blow up again, so I better sign off now. I really pray there are at least a few decent men left in this world!

Always in love...unless you're an underhandedly cruel jerk of a circus dwarf who takes advantage of those less fortunate than you then pisses on their good intentions and faith in the male species.
Lambchop~

P.S. I apologize to any midgets or dwarfs that may have been reading this post and were inadvertently offended. I have nothing but love for you all! My ex-circus midget boyfriend was an a$$hole because of his character not because of his height.

Posted in: Chops' Posts